Randomlocke Challenge 5: Darker and Edgier

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Previously...on Spotto's Randomlocke Challenge of Touhoumon Emerald 1.8, the sudden fall of Haruka is hurdled with the glimmering beginning of a coherent plot...
Judge: ...and that is why you are subject to the Ministry should you someday die. Huuurg: Interesting...I should bring this up to Morality next time I visit the box. Judge: No! The point is not to listen to Morality. He is terrible! Huuurg: But his name speaks otherwise? Swag: You know, you being a zombie...is it actually possible for you to die? ...can I test that?
 
Oh hey guys, Steven's here again to explain the never-before mentioned invisible walls we keep running into! Skittles: When did you guys finish talking? Wish: When you guys were still squabbling. Skittles: ...are you better now? Wish: All fired up and ready for action!
 
We'll only be able to solve this sudden crisis by defeating Steven once again. Wish: Let me burninate them first, Snazzy! Let's wait a bit for you, Wish.

...or the invisible walls are actually caused by other Flankholes. Nue: Flankhole! I've come with an important message! Flankhole: Eh?
 
Nue: Wait hold on, let me take care of this first. YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES AND YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER! Flankhole: Wait no! Tell me what you wanted to say first--

Judge: HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARENTS WHO SACRIFICED EVERYTHING FOR MY UPBRINGING! Nue: HURK! Curse...my kind's impulse...to cause....havoc.... *dies* Flankhole: NOOOO! What were you going to say!?

Uhm...I think that Nue was here for a reason?

Steven: Nonsense. Now the pathway is clear and you may continue on your Touhoumon adventures. Now take this, it will allow you to identify any more of these pests to clear the traffic for other trainers along the way. Flankhole: Fellow Nue...I will someday avenge you...

Judge: I don't know what came over me during that impulse, Flankhole. I am sincerely sorry. Flankhole: Ah well, it probably wasn't too important anyway. Judge: But you just vowed vengeance!  Flankhole: Which will come in time! Until then, it's out of our hands.

I also forgot to mention the giant catfish we obtained from the hostages after we defeated Team Aqua. Skittles: Wait, those captives had a water-type this entire time but didn't douse out the admin at all? Swag: I knew there was something I liked about them.

Offscreen: the murder of flying-types everywhere Swag: I almost wish you let Wish do this for the delightful aroma of grilled bird. We get it Swag. You relish in schadenfreude.

So many trainers...so many double battles.
 
Huuurg: Hmm, this one can potentially explode. Skittles? You want to swap out? Skittles: Uh, I think we can handle this one... Huuurg: I am here to assist you and to be, as Snazzy as once said, "your meatshield" Meatshield ahoy!

Wish: ALRIGHT! Time to burn everything to the ground! Wish, wait--

Wish: ...zzzZzzzzZzzzz Flankhole: Well that's one way to control him.

Wish: I'm awake! I'm awake! This bunny shall be my next vict--
 
Huuurg: Ah, a meal just for me? I am honoured. Wish: Whhhhyyyy??! Not yet, Wish, not yet.
 
Huurug: whu--...that wasn't a meal for me at all? See? I want to keep the bunny.

Trix: Sorry Huurg. I'm only for kids. Wish: ... Skittles: ... Swag: ... Flankhole: ... Judge: Hopefully you will never use her. Trix: You can use me anytime, honey. Another candidate to be forever-box'd!
 
Wish: Ha! That messed up rabbit called you a kid! Judge: Despite that jab, even you are better than that despicable puppet.

Wish: What's that supposed to be mean? "Despite"? Judge: Let me spell it out for you in layman's terms. I dislike you. Wish: But...I like you! Judge: That's all well and good, but it will continue to be unrequited. Skittles: Hey, can we all shut up and notice THAT CRAZY LAUGHING PUPPET IN FRONT OF ME!?!? Oh meeeeatshield~!

Huuurg: Why, if I had tastebuds I'd describe that meal as a bit too spicy. Skittles: ...your mouth is on fire! Do we have a water-type in the...oh what am I saying we never do! Huuurg: It's alright, I can't feel a thing. Though...I do wonder if I'll be able to speak after this is put ou...HARHFbahfbhfgjfghgsfgfh. Well shit.
 
Kaguya: ...what is this disgrace!? Those puppets are completely ignoring us! Eirin: Yes, it seems they are trying to put out that zombie puppet over there. Kaguya: How asinine. A zombie is merely a soulless husk, so trying to help it is entirely fruitless. Judge: ...black. BANG

Clerk: ...sorry, you are not allowed into this facility with any flammable materials. Also you need a candy case. All I asked was for water!

Wish: And not one blade of grass was touched! See guys, I can do this without blowing everything up...why is Huuurg still on fire? WHY DO BURN HEALS DO NOTHING!?

Flankhole: Why don't we toss Huuurg into the ocean? He can't swim. Skittles: Why not go back to the box and get that fish we obtained earlier? Its attacks will drown Huuurg. Judge: ...why not do the logical thing and heal him at the Eirin Center? That's where we're going but all these damn puppets are in the way! Swag: And the idiot forgot repels. Oh I'm sorry, I thought Yuukas were nature's repels. Swag: ... Wish: BURN.

Skittles: Oh god not ag-- HUUURG WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? Judge: ...he ate another one. Swag: It's not often I'm impressed, but....I'm impressed. Wish: He should have your name!! Swag: If I had never existed, perhaps he would. Alright, that was the last one.

Huuurg: Yes, if I had tastebuds, those things would be quite delectable. Flankhole: You're insane! You must teach me your ways. Swag: His ways of being a rotting corpse? I can teach you that too, just like I want to teach a certain fancy-hatted individual who happens to be in this room... whistles Wish: I think he means you, Judge. Judge: ... Skittles: I assume we're going back to the safari zone after this. But I don't have a candy c-- Skittles: You do now. Skittles, you're ridiculous! Let's go.

....it ran away. :( Oh well, so much for this area.

My favourite part is how our massacre of flying types always ends up on TV.
 
Flankhole: I don't remember that fight being so violent... Oh, they must've made it flashier for ratings. Swag: What the hell? I should be the one 'causing that rain of blood! How can a Nue even use Energy Light!? The producers of these things are idiots! Well, they do exclusively use flying types...

Judge: Speaking of flying-types, that happens to be the next gym. Sweet! Wish, you are allowed to go full power. Judge: I don't think that's such a good idea. FULL POWER! Wish: You're the best, Snazzy! The best! Judge: ...sigh.
 
Ah, this feels rather nostalgic.

Skittles: How so? I recall long ago, when I was much less experienced with the art of puppetry, a gym back in my home region of Kanto. It was entirely of grass-types.

Swag: ...grass-types you say. Yes, we faced many similar puppets with so many glaring weaknesses. We pretty much burnt our way through, shouting at the top of our lungs "EAT ME!" at all those Yuukas.  Swag: Eat me, is it... Ah, but I appreciate Yuukas more now that I have you. Swag: Nice try, but you can't save yourself. But truly, Swag. I am being genuine.

Swag: Why don't you keep in mind one thing, Snazzy. I'm only on your team because of your experience, not because I enjoy mingling with your puppets or actually fighting for you. Well, if it's strictly a business-like relationship...that's fine by me. Judge: You can stop ignoring the trainers now. We're at the gym leader.

Wow that was fast. Winona: ...don't be so cocky just because you breezed by my trainers! You'll visit Mt. Pyre directly after I'm through with you! Let me ask you one thing, leader. Do you have a fire extinguisher around? Winona: ...no?
 
Judge: No fire extinguisher!? That violates so many safety regulations! You will be punished severely for endangering your puppets! Winona: People usually do not use their fire types, and when they do, they never burn down the gym!
 
Judge: Silence! Those who assume nothing will happen are those who regret the most in the afterlife!

Wish: How come you keep talking about fire but aren't using me D: ? In time, Wish, in time.
 
Judge: Unfortunately these puppets must be casualties to teach their neglectful owner a lesson. Casualties? We're not actually killing them. Judge: No, but I find falling unconscious not especially pleasant.

Judge: ...this one was quite stubborn. Yeeeeah, enough righteousness with you now, Judge. Wish! YOU ARE UP!
 
Wish: Whoa! Another fire-type! Winona: Are you insane!? A Mokou against an Utsuho!? That will set fire to my-- Yes, yes it would. Winona: ...I don't have a water-type. My trainers also do not. I've got no water-types on hand either. Winona: You can't use another puppet? Well, they're not going to have the best chances of winning, now will they?

FWOOSH! Winona: YOU OMNICIDAL MANIAC! MY GYM!! Relax, I have a fire extinguisher. FOAM!

Winona: ...whuh!? You weren't going to burn everything down at all!? Well, after a few previous incidents we now carry around an extinguisher. Winona: You tricked me!  Whatever, can I have my badge now? Winona: GET OUT!!
 
Another invisible wall! Nue: Halt! I have a message to bring to...wait, you're that Nue on TV, aren't you? Flankhole: What? Nue: HA! You are! Your identity is known to the masses of the world!! Flankhole: They never used my name on that program! Nue: So? You're quite...recognizable. Flankhole: AFHDKFJDSKJDFHSFJKAGHEYH ...I wonder what those Nues wanted to say... Skittles: We may never kno--
BOOM!
A loud explosion rocked the route, throwing trainers and their puppets to the ground. Smoke pillars rose above Snazzy's crew, attempting to join up with the moon up above, but alas it was only day time and the smoke had no idea where that glowing, possibly-made-of-cheese floating rock in the sky was, so it merely dissipated into the air, never to reach its dreams...
What the hell happened!? Is everyone okay? Huuurg: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Huuurg: I didn't get a chance for my next meal! Skittles: ...that's insane. Such a huge explosion and Huuurg isn't stunned whatsoever! Judge: He's the only reason the rest of us survived.
 
Skittles: Why are we back here? ...had to pick some things up.

Swag: ...we were heading here anyway? I know some of you weren't around earlier, but there are some puppets that need to be laid to rest...hopefully this place will do well...

Judge: Yes, I'm sure many of our fire problems never would have happened if a few of them were still around. Skittles: I don't know if this is the right place to bury them.... What do you mean? Skittles: Just a bad feeling.

CSakuya: You are correct...only misfortune awaits you in Mt. Pyre. Huh? What do you mean? CSakuya: I lost my mistress inside those very mountains. But how could you lose someone in a graveyard? CSakuya: I warn you...never enter. Never... That CSakuya disappeared! ...aw, I wanted to catch her. Wish: Do you think she might've been a ghost? Judge: ...or perhaps she used her well-known time-stopping abilities to escape from being captured? Wish: You're no fun. >:

Huuurg: Even so, I myself feel very drawn to that area...they may be my exact origins! Flankhole: Yeah, a place like that? Full of dead people? Don't see what's the big deal. .... Swag: They aren;'t listening. T-that's... Judge: It couldn't be! It's completely impossible.
 
Skittles: What was that about? Wish: But Snazzy! She's with you in those orbs, isn't she? ...no, she is the only one who isn't. Judge: You LOST her!? No, you don't understand. Lighting was a ghost when we caught her, remember? When she was killed in battle she simply disappeared...I assumed she went to the afterlife. Judge: But that Tojiko...it was only a soulless husk! Nothing like the Lighting we knew. Flankhole: ...can we get some context here? We once had a Tojiko, but she was killed. The one that trainer had...bared a very large resemblance to her. Swag: Gee, maybe that's because she was a Tojiko! Wish: No, it's different...all these other puppets are pretty dead-looking too! Skittles: That's it, I'm scouting ahead! 
 
Wait Skittles, don't run off on your own!
 
Swag: Why are we talking to the mourning people? This place is too grim.  We need information is all...where is Skittles!?

Ah, your poor Rin fell the same way an old friend of mine did too...


The ground shook.


What was that? Judge: Snazzy! It's Skittles!
 
SKITTLES!? Wish: YOU~!! Swag: Calm down you unstable idiot! Flankhole: I got this!  Judge: That TAlice...she has the same dead eyes as those puppets outside... Huuurg: ...they're spirits. What? Huuurg: This place...it is filled with restless spirits, unable to move on to the next world. Judge: That's right...usually a cemetery is instead full of specific ghost-type puppets, drawn to the feared land. But here, none of the puppets that rest under those tombstones...not a single one has passed on.

Flankhole: I don't think I sent that spirit to heaven... So Skittles...Skittles too will never have peace!? Huuurg: No, she has not been buried here yet...this is not the place to lay your fallen puppets, Snazzy. Wish: You damn zombie!! Huuurg: Huh? Wish: You were supposed to be our meatshield! Her meatshield! Huuurg: ...it is regrettable that I was unable to protect her, but speed is not something I excel in, and Skittles...sadly she took off from our clutches of relative safety. Wish: Excuses!! ...Wish, I know how you feel, but it would not help the restless spirits here for this place to be in flames. Swag: ...maybe they wanted to be cremated instead? FWAP! Judge: TOO SOON! 

Skittles the HNazrin Level 21 - 51 The Pinnacle of Courage
 
So these trainers are in here...catching restless spirits for their own gain!? Zander: Of course! There is no other place in Hoenn with such variation of puppets! Leah: And they're so easy to catch! How is that a bad thing? If we want to finish our collections, this place is it! ...Wish, don't burn the place down...just concentrate your fire on these two.
 
Wish: WILL DO! Swag: You realize you have other puppets that can cause destruction too? Yes, yes I do. No mercy, Swag.
 
There is one thing I don't get... Judge: Hm? Lighting was already a ghost, how did she end up a restless spirit here? Judge: This is just pure speculation but...perhaps she died before we met her, and her body was buried here. Whatever it was that set off these dead puppets, it must've happened between her wanderings outside and her untimely second death.

Wish: Do you know this one Judge? Judge: No...thankfully, but take care with reaping him. We don't know what happens to these spirits once they've been defeated.

Swag: Ah, here's a wild one again...see you on the other side little fox. CRan: ....stop... Swag: ...oh, you can talk can't you? Well too bad, you aren't-- Wait. Let's listen to what he has to say. Swag: ... CRan: Free me...free me from this peril... Swag: By murdering you? Oka-- SWAG!  CRan: ...take me, take me with you please... But it feels unethical to catch already-dead puppets... CRan: ...please...just take me...I don't want to be here anymore...

Judge: This is indeed fascinating. If you'll allow me, Snazzy, I'd like to study the CRan some more.  Yeah, it's the first time we ran into one of these that could speak. Maybe those trainers were exercising mercy on the spirits by catching them? Judge: If they lose while fighting with them they disappear anyway.  Hm. That's a good point.

Swag: So, are we catching this one tooo? Or are you going to get all mopey about this again? One is enough, but we can't move on until this spirit allows us to...so fight. Swag: Oh, nice to see your head is still on your shoulders. Wish: Swag, shut up. Swag: ...

If you look closely here, you can actually see the difference between the male and female Momiji! Swag: ...I'm supposed to note that you broke the fourth wall. Oh Swag, I know there is no beating heart inside your chest, but you still need to be patient for those of us who do. Swag: ...

Judge: How predictable.

Wait...does that explain the spirits? Old lady: Yes, since these orbs have been taken, the spirits within the mountain cannot rest. Old man: The orbs have been here for centuries...their supernatural power give the dead a sense of peace and allow them to sleep as they should. So, does that mean someone, such as Team Aqua, may be able to use them to do the opposite? To wake those asleep up? Or in other words...resurrection? Old lady: It's possible, but it's never been done before...

Judge: Those nefarious bastards. You're right, now that we know they aren't incompetent, petty thieves...there is real reason to try to stop them now.  Wish: And the fire team stole the other one...none of them are good...none of them were ever good. Flankhole: ...what did those Nues want to warn us about, too? Was it this? Huuurg: ...where will you finally place your dead puppets, if I may ask? I'll send them back to my home in the meantime, but if we manage to return those orbs, they can finally sleep in this monument. 

A/N: LOOK GUYS! PLOT! And pretty damn dreary sad-kinda plot too! Like I said, reading those Nuzlockes influenced me...and also I have absolutely no clue where I'm going with this, just making it up as I go along. Of course I was saddened by the loss of Skittles....every Touhoumon game I've played I always wanted a Nazrin and to use a Nazrin too, and the ones I played before always had a Nazrin so damn late in the game that there was no way I could've used her, and finally I did here...only for her to die. (In the worst possible place too!) I failed you, my Nazrin. ;_; Also my rule for multi-level areas in this game is that I can catch one per level, unless I end up killing it of course. So the CRan was caught on level 3 or something, and I kind of ended up moiderizing everything else. (I'm not catching the TAlice that just destroyed my Nazrin! So that nullified my first level catch.) Also I'm quite sure the TAlice used Counter or something, thus her tiny bit of health left and my no-longer-alive Nazrin. It was very surprising. ;_;